Project 31

Sorry, I suck and forgot to post these before I left (without my computer) for a trip to Denver.

Well I can now officially say I have had sex for 31 days straight and lived to tell the story!  We crossed the finish line New Years Eve about 11:00 pm with smiles on our faces and a relationship in much better shape than it was 32 days ago.  I never dreamed this little creative test would yield such interesting results for us.  I wrote in the first blog:

“What do we really want this to create: Connection.  I miss my husband, I know he misses me.  We are hoping this little experiment will serve nicely as an excuse to find each other in a new way yet again.”

I am happy to say we got what we were after, we did connect and find each other.  We really needed to do something fun, just for us, that was not entangled with the responsibilities of life and family.  We learned that sometimes decision comes before desire, a sort of “If you build it, she will cum” kind of idea.  And cum she did.

So now what you ask?  Well we decided we liked being intentional about having sex and have settled on 4x a week for Jan. and most likely 5x a week for Feb.  At that point we are hoping to have a sense of what frequency really works for us at this stage and to live 2010 accordingly.

As for my shy post baby libido, well, I would say she is still mighty soft spoken but finding her way.  This past month taught me that I do still very much love sex.  My squelched sex drive is simply about the fact that during my day I face so many needs by the people in my life I just sort of started to randomly select need areas to shut off for survival.  Before I had kids I would have thought this a statement of twisted mommy martyr and guilt issues, but frankly, it’s not packed with those emotions just with a good dose of reality.

When I was about to have our son I remember my mid-wife trying to convince me to take a week of bed-rest after the birth, something she recommends to all her new mothers and something I was sure I could not do.  She smiled and said, “No you don’t understand Michelle, this is it.  This is the last time you get to lay in bed and have others really take care of YOU.  You’re a mom now.”  I totally blew off that statement in a swirl of naivete necessary to have a child.  But she was right, and in the blast of demands and needs I fill in a day I had just decided sex was not a priority, when in fact it is.

So we are focusing on problem solving ways to lighten my load, hopefully creating more internal space for a sex drive re-charge.  We both understand this will take time.  So to all my friends, consider this an open invitation in the name of my sex drive to come over and clean my bathroom or do some of my paperwork for me (just kidding….sort of ).  I had heard the good Ms. Clinton say many years ago in regards to raising a child, “It takes a village.”   Who knew that’s what it would also take to help me get laid.

Happy New Year Friends, may the best sex of your life find you in 2010!

xoxoxo

Michelle

Here’s a good one for my final installment, the last verse in You Can’t Get There From Here:

Crossing the Border

Senescence begins
And middle age ends
The day your descendants
Outnumber your friends.

That’s it! Happy New Year to all!

Marianna

These are all mixes that I made this month. If you want one, send me an address and I will mail it to you.

(sorry to steal your idea Jason.)

Ben’s Best of 2009

1. Animal Collective-My Girls
2. Here We Go Magic-Only Pieces
3. The XX-Basic Space
4. Yeah Yeah Yeahs-Dull Life
5. White Rabbits-Percussion Gun
6. Sunset Rubdown-Nightingale/December Song
7. Built To Spill-Oh Yeah
8. Grizzly Bear-Two Weeks
9. St. Vincent-Actor Out of Work
10. Devendra Banhart-16^th and Valencia, Roxy Music
11. Elvis Perkins-Shampoo
12. Bill Callahan-Eid Ma Clack Shaw
13. Beirut-On a Bayonet
14. Jason Lytle-You’re Too Gone
15. Flight of the Conchords-Angels
16. Headless Heroes-True Love Will Find You in the End
17. Emily Jane White-Robotic Arms
18. Alela Diane-Age Old Blue
19. Antony and the Johnsons-Daylight and the Sun
20. Mountain Goats-Ezekial 7 and the Permanent Efficacy

The 2000’s (Two Songs I remember liking each year)

2009

1. The XX-Intro
2. Emily Jane White-Wild Tigers I Have Known

2008

1. The Sentimentals-You
2. Phosphorescent-Joe Tex, These Taming Blues

2007

1. Aimee Mann-Ballantines
2. LCD Soundsystem-Friends

2006

1. Joanna Newsom-Clam, Crab, Cockle, Cowrie
2. Beirut-Mount Wroclai (Idle Days)

2005

1. Papers-Disco Romania
2. Wolf Parade-Shine a Light

2004

1. Arcade Fire-Neighborhood #3 (Power Out)
2. Elliot Smith-Twilight

2003

1. Yeah Yeah Yeahs-Maps
2. Death Cab For Cutie-Tiny Vessels

2002

1. Neko Case-I Wish I Was The Moon
2. Iron And Wine-Weary Memory

2001

1. Nico-These Days
2. Yann Tiersen-Comptine d’une autre ‘ete’…

2000

1. Radiohead-Like Spinning Plates
2. Sigur Ros-(Intro)

To Run or not to Run?

1. Road Runner-Bo Diddley
2. Run Chicken Run-Shadowy Men on a Shadowy Planet
3. Run Me Down-Black Keys
4. You Are A Runner…-Wolf Parade
5. Long May You Run-Neil Young
6. Run Thru-My Morning Jacket
7. Keep The Car Running-The Arcade Fire
8. Middle Distance Runner-Sea Wolf
9. Wipe Those Prints And Run-Beulah
10. Only Someone Running-Bonnie “Prince” Billy
11. Red Light Runnin’ Baby-Peggy Honeywell
12. Runnin’ Out Of Fools-Neko Case
13. Running Scared-Roy Orbison
14. Run For Your Life-The Beatles
15. Hit And Run Holiday-My Life With The Thrill Kill Cult
16. Time Running-Tegan And Sara
17. Run Run Run-The Velvet Underground
18. Run (I’m A Natural Disaster)-Gnarls Barkley
19. Runaway-Yeah Yeah Yeahs
20. Running The Loping-Smog

Girl Power #1—Soft

1. Mazzy Star-Fade Into You
2. Beach House-Heart of Chambers
3. Cat Power-Maybe Not
4. Emily Jane White-Wild Tigers I Have Known
5. Regina Spektor-Lady
6. Essie Jain-Haze
7. Nico-These Days
8. Billie Holiday-Solitude
9. Patsy Cline-Crazy
10. Dar Williams-Iowa (Traveling 3)
11. Dawn Landes-Honey Bee
12. Gillian Welch-Annabelle
13. Hem-When I Was Drinking
14. Alela Diane-White as Diamonds
15. Marissa Nadler-Rosary
16. Laura Veirs-Magnetized
17. PJ Harvey-Desperate Kingdom of Love
18. Joanna Newsom-Clam, Crab, Cockle, Cowrie
19. Sibylle Baier-Tonight
20. The XX-Shelter

Girl Power #2—Loud

1. Nina Simone-I Want a Little Sugar in My Bowl
2. Feist-Sea Lion Woman
3. Holly Golightly-A Length of Pipe
4. Jennifer O’Connor-Here With Me
5. Detroit Cobra’s-The Real Thing
6. Aimee Mann-Ballantines
7. Fiona Apple-Extraordinary Machine
8. Sam Phillips-Flowers Up
9. Sera Cahoone-Only as the Day is Long
10. Neko Case-Red Tide
11. She and Him-Why Do You Let Me Stay Here?
12. Ani Difranco-Little Plastic Castle
13. M.I.A.-Amazon
14. Papers-Disco Romania
15. Ladytron-Ghosts
16. Yeah Yeah Yeahs-Heads Will Roll
17. Gossip-Standing in the Way of Control
18. The Epoxies-Cross My Heart
19. Portishead-Sour Times
20. Bjork-It’s Oh So Quiet

Place #1

1. Under the Bridge-Ben Charest
2. River-Akron/Family
3. Ashton-Papers
4. Portland Oregon-Loretta Lynn
5. Oceans and Streams-Black Keys
6. Maggie’s Farm-Bob Dylan
7. South (of America)-Phosphorescent
8. Miles Davis’ Funeral-Morphine
9. This Place is a Prison-Postal Service
10. Mexico-Cake
11. Brandenburg-Beirut
12. Aisle 13-Built To Spill
13. California-Low
14. Southwood Plantation Road-The Mountain Goats
15. Rockaway Beach-Ramones
16. Way Over Yonder Carole King
17. Columbus Ave.-Aimee Mann
18. The Cowshed-Fionn Regan
19. Upward Over the Mountain-Iron and Wine
20. Chelsea Hotel No. 2-Leonard Cohen

Place #2

1. Under the Western Freeway-Grandaddy
2. Passenger Seat-Death Cab For Cutie
3. …UFO Sighting Near Highland, Illinois-Sufjan Stevens
4. Georgia, Georgia-Elliot Smith
5. Blue Ridge Mountains-Fleet Foxes
6. Lima-Gustavo Santaolalla
7. Miles From Nowhere-Cat Stevens
8. Shitty Hotel-Sera Cahoone
9. Tom Skookum Road-Laura Veirs
10. Busted Old Church-O’Death
11. There is a River in Galisteo-A Hawk And A Hacksaw
12. Waterloo-Abba
13. Lost in the Supermarket-Clash
14. Ambulance-TV On The Radio
15. The World at Large-Modest Mouse
16. Denton TX.-Damien Jurado
17. Valley Road 86-Jennifer O’Connor
18. Goodbye California-Jolie Holland
19. Apple Orchard-Beach House
20. Hope Mountain-Antony And The Johnsons

Time

1. Some Things Last A Long Time-Beach House
2. Mighty Time-Baby Teeth
3. Time To Pretend-MGMT
4. Night Time-The XX
5. Big Time Sensuality-Bjork
6. Sour Times-Portishead
7. Armageddon Time-The Clash
8. Hold Time-M. Ward
9. Time Has Told Me-Nick Drake
10. Hard Time Killing Floor Blues-Chris Thomas King
11. Comes A Time-Neil Young
12. The Times They Are A Changin’-Bob Dylan
13. Time Is On My Side-The Rolling Stones
14. Hard Times-Big Mama Thornton
15. The Next Time Around-Little Joy
16. Lounge (Closing Time)-Modest Mouse
17. Mess With Time-Built To Spill
18. High Times-Elliot Smith
19. I Will Bury You In Time-Jeff Mangum
20. Some Things Last A Long Time-Daniel Johnston

Date, Day, Month, And Year

1. Saturday Nite-Blitzen Trapper
2. Another Saturday Night-Cat Stevens
3. 1999-Prince
4. Avery Island/April 1^st-Neutral Milk Hotel
5. Holland, 1945-Neutral Milk Hotel
6. Thursday-Morphine
7. February 14^th-Oh My God
8. Saturday-Built To Spill
9. July-Low
10. Fourth Of July-Galaxie 500
11. Good Friday-Elvis Perkins
12. Tuesday, October 24^th-Clem Snide
13. Pale September-Fiona Apple
14. Gloomy Sunday-Billie Holiday
15. A Sunday Smile-Beirut

Here’s another nice animal verse from You Can’t Get There From Here, about a creature I’m quite fond of when I see him (her?) in the aquarium in Sarasota, FL:

The Manatee

The manatee is harmless
And conspicuously charmless.
Luckily the manatee
Is quite devoid of vanity.

Enjoy the penultimate evening of 2009,

Marianna

I embroidered a tote bag for my mom’s x-mas present. It’s my dad’s head!

Poems for our last three days from You Can’t Get There From Here. A good one for a winter day:

The Abominable Snowman

I’ve never seen an abominable snowman,
I’m hoping not to see one,
I’m also hoping, if I do,
That it will be a wee one.

I hope your Tuesday evening is going well,

Marianna

I opened Versus to this page and decided to act on serendipity and send out this poem for today:

The Asp

Whenever I behold an asp
I can’t suppress a prudish gasp.
I do not charge the asp with matricide,
But what about his Cleopatricide?

Hope your Monday is off to a good start,

Marianna

Some context: two more photographs from last January 19th. The first shows a building across the street from Grand Central Station. The second, taken in the station’s main hall just before the photograph of the flag (in my prior post), shows a giant TV playing tapes of Martin Luther King.

I took this photograph on January, 19, 2009, but over the past few days it has been stuck in my mind like a song, so I thought I’d post it. I took it at Grand Central Station in New York. It was snowing outside, and somehow seemed a quintessentially New York winter day. It was Martin Luther King Day, and the day before the inauguration of President Obama. Perhaps it is the confluence of these events with the apparent emerging revolution happening over the past 24 hours in Iran, that causes this scene to both haunt and inspire me.

Here’s a pensive one, from Versus:

The Cherub

I like to watch the clouds roll by,
And think of cherubs in the sky;
But when I think of cherubim,
I don’t know if they’re her or him.

Happy Sunday evening,

Marianna

From Nash’s volume Versus, for the hunters among us:

The Hunter

The hunter crouches in his blind
‘Neath camouflage of every kind,
And conjures up a quacking noise
To lend allure to his decoys.
This grown-up man, with pluck and luck,
Is hoping to outwit a duck.

Happy Saturday,

Marianna

Another animal for us today, again from The Private Dining Room:

The Bat

Myself, I rather like the bat,
It’s not a mouse, it’s not a rat.
It has no feathers, yet has wings,
It’s quite inaudible when it sings.
It zigzags through the evening air
And never lands on ladies’ hair,
A fact of which men spend their lives
Attempting to convince their wives.

To those of you who celebrate Christmas, have a happy one, and to the rest of us, enjoy Friday!

Marianna

Any sculptors out there? You might like this verse, from The Private Dining Room:

Baby, It’s Calder Inside

In addition to beauty and utility
The genuine mobile has mobility.
You know it’s art when assorted metals
Caress your brow like falling petals.

If you’re in Chicago, don’t slip on the sidewalk!

Marianna

My Dear Fellow Project 31ers – Well, after 23 days straight of getting laid this is what I would advise to all regarding sex: HAVE IT!  I dare not sell sex as a magic bill to take away all that ails you. Yet I would sell it as one of a handful of important experiences that brings you into the now, connecting you to what is: which is about as much of a cure all as life offers.

Mine and the husband’s relationship feels the most normal and connected that it has since we – more specifically I- popped out our little bundle of joy.  I am not quite sure how to explain it, but it is not the same type of sex as we had before.  Perhaps, in reality, the sex is the same but we are just different now.   It’s been nice to have the daily time of connection.

On the down side: my cooter is so fucking sore!  Seriously, not just trying to inject a funny line here, I’m getting sore.  Also, still hoping my actual sex drive kicks in more (as opposed to a project 31 and relationship commitment).  I would say that I am learning a great deal about what makes me tick and why my libido has tanked the past couple of years.  But knowing the problem is easier than knowing how to fix it and that part we are still working on.

This verse, from The Private Dining Room, seems appropriate for Chicago today, when we’re all crawling along through the sleet and slush like tortoises….

The Tortoise

Come crown my brows with leaves of myrtle;
I know the tortoise is a turtle.
Come carve my name in stone immortal;
I know the turtoise is a tortle;
I know to my profound despair;
I bet on one to beat a hare.
I also know I’m now a pauper
Because of its tortley turtley torpor.

Stay upright and don’t try to move too quickly,

Marianna

Here’s another animal verse, also from The Private Dining Room:

The Hamster

There is not much about the hamster
To stimulate the epigramster.
The essence of his simple story,
He populates the laboratory.
Then leaves his offspring in the lurch,
Martyrs to medical research.
Was he as bright as people am,
New York would be New Hamsterdam.

Hope your Tuesday is going well,

Marianna

Sorry everyone, I have neglected posting for a while. Here is what I have been making.

All caps are different, none repeated.

What’s up everyone? Please come over for a New Years Eve Party at Zach’s!  Bring your friends and family, and fun goodies to share!  If you have any questions call my cell, 312 813 0987 or email me at znzn@mac.com.

Happy New Year!!!!

Another animal rhyme from The Private Dining Room, for Monday, December 21, the first day of winter (ugh!):

The Platypus

I like the duck-billed platypus
Because it is anomalous.
I like the way it raises its family,
Partly birdly, partly mammaly.
I like its independent attitude.
Let no one call it a duck-billed
platitude.

Tomorrow the days start getting longer: yippee!

Marianna

Here’s a little item from The Private Dining Room:

A Caution to Hillbilly Singers, Harpists, Harpoonists, Channel-Swimmers, and People First in Line for World Series Tickets

Fame was a claim of Uncle Ed’s,
Simply because he had three heads,
Which, if he’d only had a third of,
I think he would never have been heard of.

Enjoy your Sunday,

Marianna

Calendar type thing…

Antlers in Agreement

I ache to hike through your Vermont forests.

Our language simplified down to

the brush of body on body,

muscles strained grasping stone,

a mutual longing to move limbs again

like migrating elk, starving

for the ideal place to feed, to speak,

to shake our antlers in agreement.

After Fall Photo Shoot In Abandoned House

I write this poem for you my bearded friend,

with cheap port still on my lips

and bristles sprung like porcupine quills,

my face an agitated creature when stirred—

picturing the shape

of your lens,

the hundreds of photos formed

in a decrepit home with peeling pink walls,

the tilt of a wheelbarrow, the lift of elbows

hauling sod into bedrooms,

the reveal of your teeth when I remove my

shirt and drop shyly into the earth.

Thankfully I can claim you as my guide—

a vast and awe-inspiring smoke cloud

that leads me through the barren sand hills and back

towards the forest core, where I once sat forming poems

with ease out of brushwood and crushed leaves.

Believe me, on the ten hour drive home,

over the months until we meet again,

I will stuff words into my beard

to prepare for winter hibernation. In spring I will arrive,

with whiskers full and dragging in the dirt,

heavy with language dormant no longer.

Here’s a blight on the city, an El station right in the middle of downtown: Wabash and Randolph. Probably built around 1920. Why did someone enclose it with corrugated metal? Notice the attempts at beautification: stainless steel on the west side and large paintings on both sides.
If you want to see an El station in the Loop, beautifully restored, stop at Quincy.

Two more animal verses, for December 17, 18, and 19, from Many Long Years Ago:

The Camel

The camel has a single hump;
The dromedary, two:
Or else the other way around.
I’m never sure. Are you?

The Sea-Gull

Hark to the whimper of the sea-gull;
He weeps because he’s not an ea-gull.
Suppose you were, you silly sea-gull,
Could you explain it to your she-gull?

Stay warm,

Marianna

This breaks my concentration but this is what I worked on for the majority of the day. This is the christmas card my brother and I are sending out to friends and family.

Are they living entities?  Or some sort of genius undead?  It is rumored that viruses killed the dinosaurs.  They can lay dormant for purportedly hundreds of years.  Their only weakness is they require another living being to replicate, but really, it’s their biggest strength too, because once inside, viruses command all functions of the host, like making it produce millions of virus babies.  God had better not catch swine flu.

Haiku Fight!! Round eighteen!!

Haiku 1

opening mind, up

inordinate beach trip

energy, shells–spent.

Haiku 2

sit down wordlessly,

an inopportunity,

“sure is some party…”

Haiku Fight!! Round seventeen!!

Haiku 1

double, quadruple,

go ahead, zero’s zero.

slice it any way.

Haiku 2

Olympic event?

visual experience

awkward slowly shed

Haiku Fight!! Round sixteen!!

Haiku 1

the temptation of

doing nothing is always

worth a few days wait

Haiku 2

conservative– not

just another B-B-Q.

Trigger fireworks

Haiku Fight!! Round fifteen!!

Haiku 1

didn’t miss a beat

firing on all syllables

hardly average

Haiku 2

wading pool waiting

deviant vacation

birthday suit, and Blast!

I was going to save these until the end of the blog, but the wreckers are working so quickly that these buildings will be gone by then. They were two old red brick loft buildings on 800 block of South Wabash. Six or seven stories tall. I’m guessing they were 100 years old. Not particularly beautiful to me; boarded up and neglected. Perhaps they could have been fixed up for some future use; who knows? But now they are eliminated and what will we get on their site? A parking lot.

Here’s a very well-known couplet, always appropriate, from Many Long Years Ago:

Reflections on Ice-Breaking

Candy
Is dandy
But liquor
Is quicker.

Have a happy Wednesday evening,

Marianna

Hi all,

At the request of a fellow blogger, I changed the theme so that you can view things a little easier. If you want to categorize your blog, you can make it easier to search that way. You can also search according to date, which I thought was cool. I have the author sidebar showing your icon, change this if you want by going to Profile, My Gravatar to upload an image.

DK

I have never really liked U2, but was humming Sunday bloody Sunday to myself as I brushed my teeth this morning.  Probably it was in my head because it’s one of the two songs that ever play in my dreams (Sam Cooke’s Chain Gang is the other.)  When I get into my car, what song is playing on the radio as I turn the engine?  Seriously.

Here’s a good thought for a cold Tuesday night, from Many Long Years Ago:

Reminiscent Reflection

When I consider how my life is spent,
I hardly ever repent.

Stay warm,

Marianna

Haiku Fight!! Round fourteen!!

Haiku 1

Take your cut-offs off

handlebar, aviators…

Shooting from the hip

Haiku 2

how sweet it wasn’t-

cold weather, early hours’

habitual creep.